Margaret and Richard's fight against dementia

Newling Gardens Retirement Village resident Richard Mills has dedicated his life to the service of others. Over the past 65 years, Richard has been involved in many charities and causes in the Armidale community where five generations of his family have lived. Just some of the causes Richard has dedicated his time and energy to include the Armidale Building Society, Ascent Disabilities, Rotary, Camp Quality, Meals on Wheels, local schools, churches, and day care centres to name just some of them. Richard’s incredible contribution to the community was recognised in the 2024 Australia Day awards, with him being presented an Order of Australia.

Richard’s life of charitable work has always been supported by Margaret, his wife of 56 years who has spent many years making her famous and delicious jams, chutneys and pickles to raise money. The couple have lived at Newling Gardens for the past 10 years and Margaret’s products known as Mills’ Pickle Factory are well-loved by the Newling Gardens community.

Unfortunately, Richard is now suffering from dementia, but Margaret is still fighting the cause for them both. All the proceeds from Margaret’s products now go to Dementia Australia and being of service is something she’s still passionate about.

“Everyone is given a talent, there is a lot we can do for each other,” says Margaret.  “If everyone did just a little bit it could make the world so much better. Even if it’s just sitting and listening to someone.

“I’ve walked the streets of Armidale flogging jam, but now I have an outlet in the village,” says Margaret. “Thanks to the village people, who buy these jams and pickles, we can send Dementia Australia $1000 each year. It’s surprising what jams can add up to.”

Village Manager Sue Nelson says everyone in the village loves Margaret’s creations and even contractors who come to do work in the village make sure they stop and buy a jar.

“Margaret works hard to produce all the jams and pickles from her kitchen, as well as care for Richard full time,” says Sue. “It beautiful that she continues to support Dementia Australia.”

Richard’s family have been a long-time supporters of Dementia Australia, both of Richard ’s cousins who died with dementia donated their whole estates to the organisation. This allowed Dementia Australia to build a centre that is a one-stop shop for dementia diagnosis, saving people wait and travel times visiting different doctors and specialists. The Gibson-Denny Centre in North Ryde, Sydney was named in their honour.

Medal of honour

Taking a trip to Sydney to see Richard be presented with his Order of Australia was a wonderful event for Margaret and their family. It gave the family an opportunity to spend time together and finally recognise all that Richard has achieved in his life.

“We made a holiday of it and the children got us a hotel room overlooking the Harbour Bridge,” says Margaret. “It was wonderful! We could see the lights changing and had a sneak peek of the Vivid festival.

“We all went up to Government House to for the ceremony and meet the Governor as well. It was wonderful see Richard receive his award from the Governor.”

Home is where their heart is

Margaret says their life in the village is great, with thanks to the Village Manager Sue and her dedicated team.

“Familiarity is the best thing for Richard, so we want to stay in the village as long as we can,” says Margaret. “Sue and the team go out of their way to make sure we’re OK and check in on us, they’re just so supportive.

“Sue is always there, constantly giving to everyone in the village. It can be full on for her and I don’t know how she and the team do it! They never complain, though.”

As dementia rates climb in Australia, there is more awareness of the disease by the general population and retirement villages have had to adapt to ensure everyone is kept safe.

“We are there to support Margaret and Richard as much as we can as they go through the different stages and changes of dementia. I’ve been able to guide them to receive help from their doctors or carers,” says Sue. “Often, it’s just listening. Everyone has a bad day and that’s OK. We can have a cup of tea and vent and that can make a difference.”

To provide practical, day-to-day care and support to allow the couple to safely remain at home, Richard has a level 3 Home Care Package, provided by New England Care, a reputable local care provider who RetireAustralia has partnered with to deliver services in the village. He has carers visit 3-4 times a week to shower him and take him for a walk. Another carer takes him out for 2.5 hours one day a week to have lunch, go to the bank or go shopping. This also provides some respite time for Margaret to have a rest or catch up with her own tasks.

The package also allows them to have a cleaner, gardener and physio come once a fortnight. Margaret says she wouldn’t be able to manage without the help they receive through the Home Care Package.

“All the carers love Richard and treat him beautifully. Some days he needs some extra sleep so they will come and chat with me, which is just as good as the help they provide him,” says Margaret. “Richard has always been interested in people, so he’s forever interacting with the carers who come and knows all about their lives.”

Staying involved

While not as active as they once were, Margaret and Richard still make sure they take part in village life and stay connected to the community.

“We try to get the activities and exercise classes in the village, to stay involved,” says Margaret. “The team recently held a breakfast, and I told them we would come down a bit later when it wasn’t so busy. Then there was a knock at the door, and they had brought breakfast to us so we didn’t miss out!”

It’s moments like these that keep Margaret going and her spirits buoyed.

“Life can be tough. Just when I think I can’t go on, something nice will happen and that keeps me going.”