How to support your loved one to make informed decisions about retirement living

Helping a loved one transition into retirement living can be emotionally charged and complex. You want the best for them – including comfort, safety and connection – but you’re also juggling your own family, career and life. Add in the maze of retirement living options available and it can feel overwhelming.

Let’s help you cut through the confusion, so you can empower your loved ones to make informed decisions that align with their individual goals, needs and financial situation.

Lead with curiosity

It’s natural to want to step in and “solve the problem.” But even with the best intentions, taking over the decision-making process can leave your loved one offside and feeling powerless. Retirement living decisions are deeply personal and it’s essential your loved one feels heard and empowered.

Open up the conversation with questions like:

• What does a good day look like for you now?
• Have you ever thought about what kind of lifestyle you’d like in the future?
• Would you like to explore some options together, just to see what’s out there?

Approach it as a shared journey, not a predetermined plan. You’re not deciding for them, you’re offering your support to them.

Frame it as a choice, not a crisis

It’s much harder to make a calm, informed choice when it’s forced by a fall, hospitalisation or sudden illness. By starting the conversation early, when things are going well, you give your loved one the space and time to explore options, compare lifestyles and decide what they want, not just what’s available in an emergency.

Think of it as future-planning, it’s about designing the next chapter, not ending the current one.

Understand the retirement living options available

Your loved one’s needs and preferences will guide which option is right. Here are some of the options available:

Retirement villages

Perfect for active, independent retirees who want low-maintenance living with social opportunities. In a retirement village, your loved one will enjoy the privacy and space of living in their own home without the worry of day-to-day property maintenance or gardening. Residents in a retirement village also have access to a range of facilities, activities and social events.

Some retirement villages also offer serviced apartments. Life in a serviced apartment has all the same benefits of living in a retirement village, but also offers additional support such as meals, weekly cleaning and linen laundry.

RetireAustralia have a range of retirement villages in South Australia, New South Wales and Queensland.

Home Care or Support At-Home

Many older Australians want to “age in place”. With home care services, your loved one can stay in their home with support like domestic assistance (such as cleaning, shopping, transport and social assistance), personal care or mobility aids. RetireAustralia offers home care services to their residents through their care team or a trusted partner. These are available through a government-subsidised package, if eligible, or fee-for-service.

Residential aged care

Also known as nursing homes. For those with more complex health or mobility issues, these facilities provide 24/7 nursing care. Entry requires an assessment through My Aged Care (ACAT).

Factor in emotional and social wellbeing

It’s easy to focus on physical wellbeing, but emotional and social health are just as important. Many older people struggle with loneliness or a loss of purpose, especially after losing a spouse or friends.

When researching consider things such as:

• Regular activities and events.
• Social dining, group outings or classes.
• Pet-friendly policies.

Help your loved one look for a place where they can thrive, not just exist.

Do your homework on costs and contracts

The financial side can be confusing for retirement living or residential aged care, as they have different to models than what you may be used to.

Moving into a retirement village often involves:

• An entry payment
• Ongoing service fees
• An exit fee or deferred management fee

For residential aged care, the costs are broken down into:

• Basic daily fees
• Means-tested care fees
• Accommodation costs (which can be paid as a lump sum, daily fee, or combo)

Consider consulting a financial advisor who specialises in retirement living or aged care, who can help you understand the implications for things like the family home, Centrelink benefits and future planning.

Tour together and trust your gut

Once you’ve shortlisted a few options and your loved one is ready to explore options in person, offer to join them. Be there, not to make the call, but to be a second set of eyes and ears. Afterwards, give them space to process and lead the discussion.

You might like to ask:

• What did you like or not like about that place?
• Could you see yourself living there? Why or why not?
• Would you like to look at another option before making any decisions?

Let them set the pace and be there as a sounding board. It’s also important to remember it’s not always just about the bricks and mortar, it’s about the vibe. The community and lifestyle aspect of retirement living is just (if not more) important than a home’s design and function.

Support, don’t steer

You might not agree with your parent’s choice. Maybe you’d feel more comfortable if they had more support or lived closer to you. But this is about their independence, not your convenience.

Even after a decision is made, keep checking in, offering emotional support and encouraging them to participate in their new community if they’ve moved.

Empowering loved ones to make a decision about retirement living can make a world of difference. You’re not just helping them find a place to live, you’re helping them shape the life they want to lead. By understanding their needs, the options available and seeking expert guidance when needed, you can help create a new chapter that feels safe and full of possibility.